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The Issue of Honesty in the Online Dating Community.
from:Is honesty the best policy when it comes to dating online? In the old bourgeois circles of old europe, there is a saying that goes roughly something like this: "in love, all tricks are allowed." (En amour, tous les coups sont permis.) Nature also has a strong tendency to use trickery when it comes to mating rituals.
Yet, some people have lost faith in the dating cycle, hoping that from out of the blue, someone, somewhere would come up to them, stare in to their eyes and that this would be the start of a beautiful relationship.
But not everyone can have a "once upon a time" love story, in fact, it rarely happens, that's why there are now a great deal of people who take matters into their own hands. That is where they have discovered the Internet: to jolt their love life upwards a notch or two.
There are a lot of good websites for online dating that you can choose from. Dating is fun and can be truly rewarding if you've set ideals and some standards of what you want to see in a person.
However, online dating is definitely not for everyone, most especially for those who are very sensitive, faint-hearted and a hopeless romantics. People who are daring and bold may find online dating fun, and very rewarding.
Not all people are honest enough to tell the truth on the net. Some people tend to deceive others by not telling their real age, marital status and other pertinent information about them just to boost the interest on them.
So how will you know if the person you're dating online is actually telling you truth or is being honest with you? Interrogation is definitely out of the question; it will surely offend a person. Since you want others to be honest with you, you yourself should also be honest to them. As the golden rule says, 'do unto others what you want others to do unto you'.
Here are several possible ways to tell if a person is really honest on the net.
Try to listen to them. This might seem ridiculous to other people 'coz how can you possibly listen to someone who you can't even speak with in person. Just 'listen' to what he/she is saying in words, that's just obviously what you can see on the screen.
Read and 'listen', after that you can pin him/her on some details. If he/she refuses to open up on the details and is rather evasive, then that person might be a liar. If you wish to continue your online dating, do so but with a little caution.
If you have a lot of nonsense questions going on your mind and maybe to your amazement the other person always have an instant explanation, better think twice. Are his/her answers believable? Some nonsense excuses should indicate a 'red flag' and therefore you should be ready for any shocking truth about him/her.
There are married people who engage in online dating. You should be alert and watch out for these kinds of people. You really don't want a commitment with married man/woman in the first place. Do you want to be called a home wrecker, if not then you should look for certain indications that might otherwise bring out his/her true status.
Try making surprised phone calls, if that certain person already gave you a number. If he/she responds negatively, like for instance that person gave a lame excuse like 'why didn't you tell me that you were going to call?' take it as a warning. Make your surprise calls more often, say for a week or so. If you get the same negative reaction, then forget that person, you don't deserve someone like that.
Current photos can tell a lot of a person's character, although there is the saying 'looks can be deceiving'. Personal appearance is not really the issue. There are those who keep their appearance from other persons. If you try to analyze it, a person who's not being dishonest should have no reason not to disclose any personal information about him/her, even their appearance.
If a person is being honest with you, that same person will not hesitate to give you a current picture. With our technology now, there can never be a shortage of shops/places that takes pictures. It'll only take about fifteen minutes or even less.
Watch out for online scammers. How will you know? These 'confidence' people usually can put a person at ease, agrees with anything you have to say, and confess undying love and heartfelt words in just a week or so online. Let's face it; you can't possibly fall in love with a person who you haven't met personally or at least have had communication for a long period of time.
If you both feel strongly for each other, then the question of meeting soon should not be a problem. There should be no lame excuses for not meeting soon if you're both honest with each other.
Online dating is just another option for those who are looking for love. Always remember that love takes time. There is really no need to rush.
This is of course not a license to go and break as many hearts as possible. Always do as you would be done by, and be safe.
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